Whenever I find myself starting to get anxious or uncomfortable, or I notice that I feel like I need to control something, I repeat the following to myself:
“Help me to surrender today.
Surrender to what was,
To what is,
And to what will be.”
If the committee in my brain is really rolling on overdrive, I’ll just keep saying it until my mind is ready to surrender.
Have you been in this place before? You are so willing to do whatever is being asked of you that it’s like you throw yourself to your knees and throw your hands up in the air and say, “I can’t do this anymore. Help me please.”
That’s what I refer to as the “ultimate surrender.”
What I have learned/am learning is that we don’t have to be brought to our knees to surrender. We have ways to incorporate it into our daily lives, ways to continually practice.
You might be thinking, “But I’m not weak. I don’t need help. I can do these things by myself!”
You might also be thinking, “I don’t even know what these things are that you are referring to?”
I’m kind of giggling as I type this because I have absolutely related to all of that in my life and even in my more recent life.
2018 was a massive year of change and growth. It was really the year I think I finally understood surrender.
What surrender means to me is this:
I am not weak. I am a wise, strong, fiercely independent woman. I am capable of anything you ask me to do and am willing to prove that I can do something you tell me I cannot do. I still choose to surrender as much as possible because, to me, surrender is easier. It makes my life more light and less serious, less heavy — ultimately letting in more joy.
Surrender is still being able to make tough decisions and choices, but it’s knowing, really knowing, that I am only in control of me. That I am the only variable I can control.
It is knowing I can’t control what anyone else does, what anyone else’s reaction is, what anyone else says.
Surrender is knowing that I can and will navigate anything that is thrown at me (hopefully with grace) because what is happening around me doesn’t matter. What matters is: What can I do? How can I handle this? How do I feel about this?
The reality of this life — of mine, yours and ours — is that “what will be, will be.” It does not matter how much we obsess about it, how much we try and fix and save and control.
What will be, will be.
Relationships, jobs, trips, gossip, rudeness, hurtfulness, people, places and things.
We can’t control any of that. We are only responsible for ourselves.
Surrender is accepting all of this, sitting with ourselves and opening up to who we really are. To me, surrender is a step toward empowerment.
As I mentioned, this isn’t a sign of weakness. To me, it’s really a stance of power.
Surrender gives us the opportunity to reflect on who we are.
Where do we stand?
Am I doing what I need to do to take care of myself so that, regardless of people, places and things, I WILL BE OK?
Where is my self-worth in all of this?
What can I do to better care for myself?
Am I addressing my own needs so I don’t rely so heavily and detrimentally on other people?
What are my expectations here?
What is my responsibility here?
What can I do to be free?
I am not saying that life doesn’t happen and that shit doesn’t hurt. Because it does, my friends. Life still happens, people are still hurtful, and our hearts can still be broken. Hopefully, surrender offers us grace to move through the challenging days.
Surrender just really gives us the opportunity to focus on ourselves, on our responsibility, on our ability to heal so that, instead of us obsessing over things or taking months to heal, maybe it just takes a week. Then, maybe it just takes a few days, and maybe eventually it only takes 30 minutes to move through our process. And every step of this journey, of these trials and lessons, we are getting that much closer to being free.
To be happy, joyous and free … I don’t know about you, but that’s my goal today.
Take some time and consider dancing with surrender today. In my experience, it is soooo worth it. And you know what’s amazing? You are not alone.
If nothing else, I am here. I relate, and I will support you in any way I can.
In love and light … xoxo,